Claudia Von Boeselager: Welcome to another episode of the Longevity & Lifestyle Podcast. I'm your host, Claudia von Boeselager, here to help you uncover the latest strategies, tools, and trips to help you live at your best and reach your highest potential. So today's episode is on a topic I'm very passionate about and I've been learning about now for quite a bit, and it's the art of saying no gracefully.

And so I used to have to say yes to everything. My imaginative and optimistic mind would get excited by pretty much any and all invitations, activities, and support and projects for friends and family. And so much to the detriment of my time, right? And so I had a real case of FOMO as well. Fear of missing out, missing out on something fun.

And it was only when I learned JOMO, the joy of missing out, did I realize what an important tool this is. And so I'm excited to share this with you today. So number one, when trying to figure out what to say no to and what to say yes to, it all comes back to number one, having a strong clarity of what it is that you want, what your goals are, and what you're aiming for.

So having that true north is really, really essential. It's something I take my clients through as well. Also, it's just so important to realize the importance of setting boundaries and protecting your time. We tend to put ourselves, especially women at the end of the line, right? Kids, family, friends, everything comes first.

But as they say on the plane, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others. So you can only give from your overflow of your cup and not from an empty one as well. So here is a two-part tool that I use to help me figure out when to say yes and when to say no. And if I'm saying no, how to do so gracefully. So step number one is figuring out if it's a yes or a no. And from Derek Sivers, I heard it in a podcast interview with Tim Ferris. He has what was called or what he called the HECK YES analogy.

And so if you can imagine if on a scale of one to 10, where 1 is an absolute NO, no matter what, and 10 is, HECK YES, right? Really want to do it. Imagine there's no number seven, right? So if you had to rank an invitation or a project or an idea activity on a scale of one to 10, and there was no number seven, if it's not an eight, nine, or 10 out of 10, then it has to be a no.

You have to value your time and the alternatives that you could do instead, right? The other is what I call the next Tuesday analogy, because we know how busy we are right now, but if we get an invitation for, say, six months out, then we tend to automatically assume that we'll have lots of time then, forgetting that we might just be as busy as we are right now, and if we say yes now to an invitation, we're filling up our schedule with things that we might not truly love to do.

So to solve for this, and knowing how busy you are now, and it was for next week, Tuesday, would you say Yes, or would it be a no? If it's not an absolute YES, then it's definitely a NO to. So those are two filters I use for deciding if it's a yes or if it's a no.
Step two is then once you've decided what to say no to, so that you can free up time for the things that you love, including important self-care, time to be and be creative. Here are some ways that I use to say no gracefully. So for example, sadly I have something else going on or I have another commitment.

Or I wish I were able to, or I unfortunately don't have the bandwidth for that right now. I think in today's world a lot of people get that. Or also what I sometimes say is, you know, thanks for thinking of me, but I'm sorry I'm not able to fit this in. One point I'd also like to do is to make it a decision that's out of your hands, such as I've committed this year to not take any engagements on at the weekend and keep that for family or insert the blank for self-care, for adventure, or whatever it may be. That way it's not you saying no. It's more a rule that you've set for yourself.

So if you struggle to optimize your schedule and day to show up as your best each day, I am offering for a limited time, a few complimentary strategy sessions with me, yours truly, which are normally valued at $495. If you want to grab one of these spots, just go to LLpeakcall.com or look for the link in the show notes while slots last.

I hope you found this helpful. I hope that you can clear up your schedule to have more time for the things that you love.

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